Chinese jokes

We have deep respect for the Chinese community in Malaysia and Singapore, for their open-mindedness. It is this attitude in them that make them successful in life, apart from their hardwork.

 

Today we will feature three jokes, honouring this community to continue with this spirit embedded deep inside them.

 

GIVE ME FLY PLEASE

 

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

The Italian-throws the cup and walks away in a fit of rage.

The Frenchman takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chineseman - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

 

CONFUSING CHINESE NAMES

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator : I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!

WHY CHINESE SHOULDN’T HAVE CHRISTIAN NAMES

Anne Chang = Dirty (Mandarin)   Anne Chin = Keep Quiet (Mandarin)

Faye Chen = Dusty (Mandarin)   Carl Cheng = Buttock (Hokkien)

 

Monica Cheng =  Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)

Lucy Leow = You are dead (Hokkien)   Jane Tan = Frying eggs (Mandarin)

Suzie Leow = Lose till death (Hokkien)   Henry Mah = Hate your mum (Mandarin)

Corrine Tai = Poor fellow (Hokkien)   Paul Chan = Bankrupt (Mandarin)

Nelson Tan = Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)   Leslie Tong = Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)

Carmen Teng = Leg hair long (Hokkien)   Connie Mah = Call your mother (Cantonese)

Danny See = Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)   Rosie Teng = Screws and nails (Hokkien)

Pete Tsai = Nose droppings (Hokkien)  Macy Koh = Never die before (Cantonese)

sources: http://sjsandteam.wordpress.com/category/jokes-and-quotes/page/2/